Saturdays are for the... wrecks?

Y'all, today was a day. Since Cory and I both had the day off, we decided to do some things around the house-- like wrapping the pipes before the big 'freeze' comes next week. After fixing coffee and making a trip to Home Depot to get the supplies, we were ready to get the day started. I mean, we had to be done before the Gators game at 11am. When we got to the backyard, I walked around the house to see if there were any other water spigots and heard the loudest noise. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty on the other side of the fence. As I walked out of the gate, I saw two cars, both smoking and each one facing a different direction on each side of the median. 

I walked to Lady B as she was climbing out of the passenger side of the car to see if she was okay and see if everyone else in her car was okay. She replied with "I'm the only one in the car and I can't see." 
Um. 
Thankfully, she couldn't see because her glasses had flown off of her face. After asking the others who had gathered if anyone had called 911 and getting resounding silence, I grabbed Lady B's glasses from the floor and her phone. 

911: 911, what's your emergency? 
Me: There's been a wreck in front of my home at ______. 
911: Is anyone hurt? 
Me: Um. I'm not sure. There are two drivers and I haven't seen the other lady. 
911: Do you need me to send EMS, police and fire? 
Me: Um. I guess.
911: I thought you said no one was hurt? 
Me: 
911: What's your address? What's your name and phone number? What's the make and model of each car? Can the cars be moved out of traffic? What's the cross streets? 

After 10 minutes of this, she said that an officer would get there as soon as he could. Minutes later, the NOPD showed up and I relieved myself of comforting Lady B, directing traffic, meeting new neighbors, recounting what happened, bringing people water. 

Meanwhile, Cory didn't know there was a gate on that side of our fence, and when he went to look for me, had no idea where I was. He thought I was murdered. 

NOPD has taken statements, blocked traffic and is calling the tow truck. Lady A was driving too fast and when Lady B pulled out in front of her, she hit her so hard Lady B's car spun around a few times and threw her into the passengers seat. Lady A's car leaked oil all over the street. Both ladies walked away with some bruises and a headache. 

After 30 minutes of this drama, enter Ms. J, our very loud and quirky neighbor. She walks out of her house in her jammies, a cig in her hand and her head wrap on. [I promise, there will be a post about her very soon regarding the first couple of times we chatted}

Ms. J: Mrs Brooke, what happened? 
Me: Recounts story
Ms. J: Oh. Well, I need to get to the pharmacy to get my prescription before I go to work. (realizes her car is blocked in)
Me: Oh. Well, I think you may have to wait a bit. 
Ms. J: Mrs Brooke, where's yo car? You can take me to get my prescription? 
Me: Um. Sure
I then come inside, grab my keys and wallet, and tell Ms. J I'm ready. She gets in, and we head to the pharmacy. This is when I notice her fuzzy slippers. 

Y'all, this all happened before noon. Noon! 
Needless to say, we got the pipes wrapped and watched those Gators chomp their way to a victory. Happy Saturday!